“My family has money and we still shop secondhand. How do you think the rich stay rich? Did you know Mary Kay clipped coupons?”

One day, I was on a plane to San Diego and, I was speaking to the guy next to me about investing in yourself and the conversation expanded to the difference between the wealthy and those who aren’t. Not only do the wealthy invest in continuing education, they also try to save money. That’s when my seat neighbor, asked me the age old question, “How do you think the rich stay rich?”

It’s funny because I was raised to be thrifty. My parents did not spend a ton of money trying to impress others. We didn’t have expensive clothes. I’ve never owned a pair of Jordan’s, Iverson’s, Stackhouse’s in my life.  Ok, I may be showing my age so let me stop naming!!!  At the time, I was jealous because I felt left out. All of the other kids had name brand clothing and I didn’t.

I realize now that my parents have a “rich mentality”. They may have denied us the perceived “luxuries of life”, but it was to ensure that we understood the value of money. What I am suggesting is that those who value material possessions above financial security have misplaced priorities, which is a sign of a “poverty mindset.” People with a “poverty mindset” value instant gratification over long-term security.

As I look back, my airplane buddy seemed comfortable with the comments that people made about him because he didn’t wear Abercrombie and Fitch during his youth. I, on the other hand, was embarrassed that I didn’t have the expensive name brand stuff. I craved it, therefore as I got older I charged up a bunch of credit cards to have it. Eventually, I realized that stuff didn’t matter. Not only did it not matter, it went out of style, it fell apart, and it stopped fitting. I no longer had the clothes, but I had the debt that my “poverty mindset” caused. It was precisely what my parents tried to help me avoid by teaching me how to develop a wealthy mindset, one that embraces the concept of delayed gratification.

The important thing is that I learned, and that I continue to learn. This journey is just beginning.  It’s not easy, but if you work on changing your mindset, by embracing the concept of delayed gratification, it eventually it becomes habit and way less difficult.

Aisha Taylor is a #1 Amazon Best Selling Author of the book “5+5 FNPhenomenal Ways to Save $100 This Week Without Killing Your Lifestyle”, and the Founder of FNPhenomenal (Frugal –n- Phenomenal). FNPhenomenal helps women to break the vicious cycle of making money, but not keeping it. FNPhenomenal provides education about money management, empowers women to take control of their lives, develop a healthier relationship with money, and pursue being phenomenal.

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If you need deeper work around healing your relationship with money or overcoming your blocks and fears, maybe it’s time for some money therapy.